Shannon Fest
Labor Day Weekend · 2026
Yes, that is really the name.
Status update: this page has been redesigned. Gray exterior, beige interior, as it should be — just like the perfecta Freya.
Inbound · one box
Something is driving to Madison
Left the warehouse Friday, Aug 28 — UPS ground, one box, and UPS itself says Tue Sep 1 · 1:30–5:30 PM. It is not for you, exactly — it concerns Freya. It will beat us to Madison by days. No early unwrapping.
Last scan: North Baltimore, OH · Fri 11:42 PM ·
Track it live
Synced to UPS a few times a day · No, you don't get to know what's in it
The program
Subject to change. Not subject to debate.
Your birthday
The one fixed point. Everything else here is arranged around it, including the parts that will pretend otherwise.
Michael + Allie, wheels down at MSN
Delta 2144 in from Miami by way of Atlanta. Everything else on the calendar gets arranged around this, and not the reverse. Nobody is expected to be awake for it. The record will nonetheless show that we came to you.
The bird app
The long-promised demonstration finally happens. Bring your phone.
Notre Dame vs. Wisconsin · Lambeau Field
Shannon Fest observes a recess of approximately four hours for a football game in Green Bay.
The recess was not proposed by Shannon, requested by Shannon, voted on by Shannon, or at any point approved by Shannon. Management regrets the intermission. Management is not Shannon. Shannon Fest resumes at the final whistle, and we are going to have a stupid amount of fun at it anyway.
Massages. Or pedis.
Whichever place will take us. Book nothing against this.
Wheels up
Delta out of MSN, home by way of Minneapolis. The massages happen before this. The airport does not respect tradition; we book accordingly.
Side one
For the ’95 Accord · first half of the song only, then skip
The menu
Standing orders · no substitutions requested or expected
The #1, tomato, frosted lemonade
No notes. I could place this order for you from another state.
The hot girl salad
Respected. The pretzel-bun fried chicken sandwich remains available whenever you’re ready, and it should be fried.
The concoction
Nuggets, mac and cheese, fries, buffalo, BBQ, ranch. Not on any menu anywhere. Should be.
Taco Bell
Two chalupas, one Baja Blast, for us.
Frosted Flakes for dinner
A complete dinner for a grown adult.
The Mediterranean Joint
Your Atlanta find, still owed a visit together. When it’s Miami’s turn: Motek, Brickell. Both are happening.
The am fam
Attending in spirit · absent with regret
Stella
Sleeps like she was dropped from a great height and landed perfectly. Morale officer. Undefeated.
Dexie
Salad thief. Three a.m. town crier. She just wants to talk.
Seating
The new couch is very nice and she has no opinion on it. Her spot is you.
Standing business
Open items · to be handled in person
The department presentation
The week before all this. Nothing new to report: the expert in the room is you. It has never once been anyone else.
The new Audi
Engaged and fully briefed. Ready to discuss thoroughly, analyze at any length, and hear every development. You’re taking the lead — I’m along for the drive.
Mah jongg
Computer tiles, then real tiles. I expect to lose and intend to be a poor sport about it.
Miami
Poke and churros, still owed. The household’s standing policy on visitors named Shannon is enthusiastic, unanimous, and pointed.